A Long Time Overdue…

Having just been asked by a mate about blogging, I naturally suggested wordpress. Which has then prompted me to visit my, now quite dusty, blog out of curiosity. So here I am, back again, and indeed still living, well at least surviving, living is stretching it a bit.

Most interesting thing is looking back down my last few posts it my update on the new years resolutions from last year. Which in itself goes to show how few posts I’ve made this year. But anyway, the resolutions made last year all, bar one, still stand and will be made again this year with much more emphasis on achieving them I hope. So to recap:

A quote from last year, January 19th to be exact:

* Get back to the gym / loose weight, Not happened, in fact I’m going to cancel the gym but more on that later.
* Start to get my finances back on track somehow, Maybe got another option in the works, again keep reading below.
* Manage to get to work on time, Errm…
* Manage to get to bed earlier, Errm…
* Keep this flaming blog updated more often. And Errm some more.

I am now about 18 1/2 stone, so definitely need to loose some weight, it’s getting me down. I need to get to work on time, or certainly make an effort as I seem to constantly get there for 9:10am ish. I need to get to bed earlier, which judging from the fact it’s currently after midnight is going to be a challenge to say the least. I may even be tempted to put a couple of odd posts on here, well stranger things have happened.

The financial situation you will all be glad to hear is much better. Thanks solely to my nan for paying off all of my credit cards, leaving my with just my main loan outstanding which is certainly manageable. I currently have about £2k on one card, £1300 of which I am owed in expenses from the car club to pay that off with, so I am pretty much managing to not build it up on the cards again.

Anyway, just a quick update.

PS, that quick update just turned into me updating my 50 things page and my about me page. )

Sometimes I, just feel like screaming at myself!

Long time, no blogging. The same as someone else I know ;o)

Lots to tell, but not lots I can be bothered to write down at the moment.

Still with Julie, still getting the odd contact from Kelly, still overweight and in debt, but you knew that would be the case already if you’d read any of my blog previously.

Decided to skip a few lines with the post titles seeing as it’s been so long, but it is also quite appropriate with current events and how I feel right now. I’ll enlighten you all in the next week.

It’s also the first time I’ve looked back at my blog after a few months away and still liked the theme, so this one’s a keeper.

Nick

Sometimes I’m, in disbelief I didn’t know.

Two posts in 24 hours, that’s it, just thought I’d treat you all.

So the bank this afternoon, think Little Britain, “computer says no…”. Basically they tried for a loan of £15k to pay off my 3 large credit cards which was refused. Either on an affordability basis or on the fact I’m currently over my credit card limit with them which counts against you. Why the fuck does it count against you? Should it not then count for my big style that I’m bothering to be in the fucking bank asking for help to pay the bastard thing off? Oh no, that would be too fucking sensible wouldn’t it.

Apparently the affordability rating is how much income you have left each month after any payments which you have to make. So currently I get £1200 in, and then spend £380 on my loan, £115 board and £100 into my isa. There are a few other things which they just put down as bills, sky, mobile phone etc etc. But they then say you need to have £450 taken off for “general living costs” which left me with something like £180 which is what they will allow you to spend on a loan repayment. The loan of £15k was about £250 a month which is more than I, according to their fucked up analysis recons I can afford to pay each month.

Well excuse me, but when I’m currently paying £400 a month on credit card payments do I really care about the £450 a month living costs? No, I don’t. Does lowering my payments on the cards from £400 a month to £250 a month on a loan make me better off, of course it fucking does! But apparently I can’t afford £250 a month, and on explaining I’m already paying £400 a month as I have no choice did that make any difference, no, sweet fuck all. They want to help they say, but not to any great extent to bloody don’t.

They also said they could look at refinancing my current loan, basically take out another £25k loan to pay off the balance on my existing one and that would leave about £3.5k left over to pay my smaller card off with. But without the other cards being dealt with this is really not worth the hassle. So it was all left at that.

They did say if I can get my credit card, or actually all of my cards, under the limits and keep out of my overdraft for the next 3 months I could go back and they would be happy to reprocess it all. So in the meantime I’m not going to eat, drink, go out, drive anywhere or basically anything which costs money to do. Yeah right, like that’s either possible or going to happen. So in 3 months time will I be bothering to go back, I somehow doubt it.

This website I’ve launched is now costing me more money that it’s making. I need to pay for the hosting in the next week, which is going to be £80, I also need to print off a load of flyers to hand out at the club meets to try and get some interest, these are going to be about £70, and also thinking of some window stickers to get the website name on peoples cars etc etc, these are also going to be about £50. I was hoping to allow any advertisers free reign on the site for 2 months and then they can pay for advertising from then on. As it now stands I’m not going to have enough members to make the advertisers think it’s worth paying for it yet I don’t think. As their adverts are not going to be seen by enough people. So this is another big fuck up basically.

I’m not happy. In fact I’m pretty fucking miserable.

Sometimes I, need you to stay away from me.

I’m fed up, that’s is basically.

I’m fed up of having no money, fed up of being overweight, fed up of my job, fed up of the crap weather, fed up of getting sun burnt on the first say of sunshine this year, fed up of feeling tired, fed up of my back hurting, fed up of being fed up.

Now some of those things I can change, they may take some effort but in al fairness I could if I wanted to change them. But when you get to a point where you just can’t be bothered to do anything, trying to convince yourself that you would feel better if you did this or that end up seeming pointless anyway. So why bother changing anything?

The website I’ve been designing for nearly a year now has this week been launched. Not that I’d planned to tho, it was more out of desperation than anything else. The rough situation is that there is a current website for a group of people, in this case owners of Audi TT’s. I decided this website wasn’t being run very well and thought I’d make an alternative site for these owners to use if they wanted. This was all well as there was only one website catering for this group of people. That is until last Sunday evening when news broke that someone else had had the same bright idea and that they too were going to release a website for Audi TT owners. So I spent from 12 midnight till 7am Monday morning fully rebuilding my website to make sure it was as ready as it could be to be released. I needed to get mine on-line before the other new website was released.

I managed to get mine online and fully released by about 6pm on monday evening. So far in 7 days of it running I’ve had a couple of small issues with it but nothing serious go wrong yet. I’ve now got 146 members joined up and just over 1500 posts have been made in this time. This is actually a really good start.

The problem is that this website was meant to make me money, but with a 3rd site in the mix the revenue is not going to be anywhere near as high as it would have been. The original site was making at least £20k a year for the owner from site sponsorship and advertising which if my site only made a 1/4 it would clear off one credit card, which would be amazing. I had been trying to not put too much hope in it all going well, but even still I was deep down wishing it would do well to try and claw some way back with my money issues. This is now looking unlikely.

In other not quite as, but still depressing news, I’ve got issues with my back again. Think I did it moving some concrete path stuff round at Julies house last weekend. So I’m now having to be careful moving myself anywhere, especially getting in and out the car, and am also paying £27 for half an hour at the chiropractor. So what did I think would be a good way to spend my bank holiday Monday, yes of course, spend 8 hours helping a mate wash, polish and wax his car to show him how to do it all properly. So how do I now feel tonight, yes of course, in friggin pain. Oh and I’m also sun burnt, nice and pink. How come the first fucking day of sunshine this bastard year I spent outside I end up fucking burnt.

I’ve got an appointment at the bank tomorrow afternoon for them to tell me they can’t help me at all. Knowing that already I’m not even sure why I’m bothering to waste my time. The only good thing, which isn’t good at all really, is that I’m going to skive out of work for an hour.

I’m going to stop now, before I get any deeper into this metaphorical hole I’m in.

Sometimes I, need to remember just to breathe…

Well it’s been a while I know, but due to popular demand I’m going to try a new full bodied post. Not that I know where to start tho.

I suppose a quick sit. rep. would be a good idea, so…

* Now weigh 17st10lbs (which is less than 18st) but this is not by me doing anything, it’s just happened.
* Still owe nearly £50k, things getting more desperate.
* Not sleeping that well, mainly due to not going to bed early enough, but also possibly a medical issue.
* Things with Julie are really good.
* Still getting the odd text from Kelly.

Right, got to try and elaborate on those now, I might just make it a worthwhile post that way )

I’m now not fitting into a lot of my clothes, but due to other issues I can’t really afford to buy anything new. So I’m ending up squeezing into things which isn’t all that comfortable I have to say. I’ve cancelled my gym membership so I’ve not been back there, which is no real surprise. My plan is to get out on my bike now the evenings are getting lighter, well as soon as it’s not raining every day that is.

Right money. My mum now knows the full extent of the issue and she’s been quite good about it really. I was at the point where I could no longer take money off my last empty card to substitute my income and therefore I couldn’t pay off each month what I had to. So I’ve had enough off my mum to keep me going for a month or two, and also she’s paid my car insurance for now. She’s now looking at the idea of getting a loan herself to give to me, or at least being a guarantorfor a loan for me if it would help. That way I’ll be paying off less each month and not building up the interest as I am now on the cards.

Been out to the retail outlet at J28 tonight as Julie had some plates reserved to collect, but I was looking at some new shirts for work, and some trainers / shoes. Ending up feeling really odd as it was really the first time I’ve been out shopping but actually couldn’t physically buy anything due to having no money, and no credit to use. Bit of a useless trip really, but it was still nice to go for a wander round.

Went to the doctors a few weeks back and while I was with the doctor I mentioned about the fact I snore quite badly, but also how I seem to feel tired all the time. It would seem I have, to some degree, sleep apnea, which is basically where you fail to breathe while sleeping. The main cause for me is my weight where the muscles in my throat can’t support the surrounding tissue and it puts pressure on the windpipe. Or something along those lines anyway. But the result of this is being restless as you end up waking up, no nearly waking up as your body forces you to breathe, so you never get to the full deep sleep where you rest and recover etc etc. So when I get up in the morning I still feel knackered, and it doesn’t seem to help going to be earlier or later either. The only thing the doctor said is to loose some weight, which wasn’t very helpful, but I know there isn’t any real cure for it in my case.

I’ve just realised I’ve given this post an amazing title thinking about the last paragraph, and I wasn’t thinking about it at all, it’s just song lyrics again, bizarre!

Still getting the odd text from Kelly, maybe not once a week so it’s alright. Only thing with it is she keeps wanting her iPod updating. I bought it her last Christmas but she’s not got a pc or could use one, so every time she wants new songs putting on it I’m having to do it. I’m not to fussed about it, but I don’t want it to go on forever do I.

Had a couple of nightmares in the last 2 weeks, one more serious than the other. I had organised a meet and cruise out with the TT owners club which I sort out for this area. We’d gone out for a cruise and were not too far from Newark with me leading and 6 cars following behind. Well we came upon a bend in the road which I went round no problem and so did Roger who was behind me, but then Kevin (who I’d just met that day for the first time) ended up loosing it and ended up down a ditch at the side of the road which flipped his car on it’s end and landed on it’s side. He got out straight away without a mark on him which was amazing, but the car will most likely be a write off. We stopped with him for a while so he could ring for recovery etc etc but then carried on with the cruise to the pub we had a table booked to eat at. Bizarre day really.

Anyway, the second nightmare is a lot less serious thankfully. I built a pc for a friend of a friend a couple of years back and I often get called to go and fix it. Well this time it was a virus or something similar. I went over and spent 2 hours trying to remove it and thought I had done. Two days later I get a call again that it’s back and it’s also spread to his laptop. I ended up taking the pc and laptop home to work on and the long story short is I ended up infecting my pc and my work pc in the process of fixing there two machines. But all is now well and they have their pc’s back. My work one is now also fine, but my home one (which I’m on now) needs a reinstall to be sure it’s ok. Which will be a job for tomorrow night or the weekend.

The website I’m working on is still in progress, but it’s hit a slight snag which I’m now waiting to get resolved. Basically one part of the site is being developed by someone else and I’m just using it on my site as an add-on. Problem is he’s doing this for free and in his own time so there is no urgency for him to finish it. I’ve also, until tonight, not heard anything from him in 5 weeks. Tonight tho someone has told me he is still alive but busy at work and will have some free time at the start of May to get some work done on it. So fingers crossed I can then move forward a bit with it all. Be good to get it all done and some paid advertisement sold and some money made!

Right, enough of an update for the hardcore fans, of which I think there are three of you, maybe.

Laters.

You never know…

But, I have a new theme (again) and I like it.

I might even like it enough to start updating this blog again…

Just to say…

I’m still alive. Woohoo! Bet you all feel a lot better for knowing that.

It seems that I’ve now made more theme changes than posts so far in 2008, so hopefully I’ll try and fix that balance soon.

Can’t be bothered with a full update now, I’m too tired.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep…

Well I’m back! Not that anybody has actually missed my posts I’m sure. I’m back on the lyrical blog post titles, I know one person will get this one ;o)

So, I suppose I’d better do a quick update on the New Years Resolutions….

* Get back to the gym / loose weight, Not happened, in fact I’m going to cancel the gym but more on that later.
* Start to get my finances back on track somehow, Maybe got another option in the works, again keep reading below.
* Manage to get to work on time, Errm…
* Manage to get to bed earlier, Errm…
* Keep this flaming blog updated more often. And Errm some more.

Not the best start to the year then, but then I think I was kidding myself that any of those would change just like that.

I’ve been off work all week ill which is not like me at all as I hardly ever feel bad enough to have time off. I woke up Monday morning with a right headache which evolved into a headache and general aches all over on Tuesday. Wednesday I just felt a bit washed out but not too bad so had the day to recover which was a good job as I woke up on Thursday with a proper sore throat and now Friday I’ve got the sore throat and pressure built up in my ears and nose etc etc. I’m hoping to be ok for Sunday tho as I’m meant ot be out in the afternoon which I’m hoping I don’t have to miss.

Financial wise it’s been an interesting week. I had a letter on Tuesday from my bank saying I’d got a meeting for the 9th Jan which seeing as Tuesday was the 15th Jan the letter was a bit late, lol! Anyway, rung up as for starters I’d not arranged a meeting and also I’d missed it anyway. Rearranged it for Thursday and it was just a 1 year on review from when I took my loan out last year. But I was a good opportunity to explain I’m in a mess and see what they could do. First option as to refinance my existing loan which would give me about £3000 to play with now to take off one of my cards but it wouldn’t really help that much. The other option is to take out a secondary loan to pay off all the cards in full.  This would obviously mean paying interest on the loan but it will still be a thousand times less than the cumulative costs on the credit cards and also it will be paid in full by the end of the loan term and not ongoing to years as with the cards. They have got to get back to me on this for a couple of reasons but it’s a pretty reasonable idea. The options from Payplan have now been discarded for a few reasons, but if I did change my mind I can always go back to them at any time, but I’m now trying to avoid it if I can. Also the gym is going to be cancelled this month, I’m not going and I’m paying for it, nuff said.

I’m going to Brussels on Friday for a 24 hour rush trip. Can’t say why now as it’s a bit hush hush but it should be amazing. Will post up about it all when I’ve been anyway. So I need to be fully well for that if nothing else. I did have a ‘fun’ day down in Peterbough getting my passport renewed last week as I realised it had expired and my trip would have been off otherwise. It ended up costing me an extra £40 to have it renewed while I waited rather than the usual 3 week return time which would have been too late. My own fault for not renewing last year when I could have done.

Right will leave it there, going to get my head back over this menthol steam bowl, happy days )

New Year, New Theme…

Happy New Year Everyone!

Decided on a new theme for the start of the year, this one seems a lot better and more what I was looking for than the last one.

So new years resolutions then:

* Get back to the gym / loose weight,
* Start to get my finances back on track somehow,
* Manage to get to work on time,
* Manage to get to bed earlier,
* Keep this flaming blog updated more often,

Think that’ll do for now, I’m sure I thought of more last night so I may update if I remember.

Twas Christmas Eve…

and all around me is chaos and fucking misery.

Mother should have left for London on Saturday, so that’s 2 days ago, but she’s still here. Me and Matt should have left for London this morning and guess what, we’re still here. I’ve been ready since about midday today, everything packed up and waiting to go. Mum’s not even got dressed today so far, she’s not sorted any presents for use or anybody else, she’s not even got any of her clothes ready to take with her. Now bearing in mind it’s a 3 hour drive trip to my nan’s house where we’re going it’s going to actually be Christmas day already by the time we get there.

 I’ve just lost the will to live basically.

Me and Julie had our own ‘Christmas Day’ yesterday where we managed to spend most of the day together, had presents in the morning and had a really lovely lazy day. I had some clothes from Fat Face, a new shop to me but one which Julie really likes, also had the new Jeremy Clarkson DVD and a fricking awesome Lamborghini calendar. Julie loved all the stuff I’d got her too so that was a result!

Money wise I’ve now heard back from Payplan who I was speaking to who have give me 3 options:

1) Non-binding agreement with my creditors to freeze interest and lower the payments. Will take me down from over £800 a month going out to £450 and will take me 9 years to clear it all.

2) Legally binding IVA, takes 5 years, same repayment monthly of £450 and after the 5 years anything left will be written off. But, it will screw my credit rating for the entire term and for some time after. They can also take into account my assets so I will most likely loose my car and other things like computer, tv etc etc.

3) They send me a leaflet with some advice on it.

So all in all, I’m not sure what to do still. I’m thinking the best idea is option 1, then if I do get any more money or can pay it off sooner if I save some cash up I can do and I keep my car and credit history intact.

Well I hope everyone has a good Christmas, cos I’m certainly not going to.

Back next week.